Into The Realm of Lights

A lifetime ago, our body was that of an infant’s.

“Joyeux Noël!” the people cried around me in those early days.

A shadow clung to me already-the loss of the only person who knew me better than maman.

The lights around me were dazzling in all ways.

They were captivating.

They were overwhelming.

I missed the dark and dim that I had once shared with…

…

Why was I the only one to make it into all this light?

If you were here, these things wouldn’t be so scary.

I needed you.

You would have made all of these scary events easier.

What happened?

Will I ever know?

I miss you, as I have missed you every moment since I entered our maman’s world.

I became the one in the light…

And a shadow of you grew in my mind

Would that shadow have left if our life had followed a path of less intense trauma?

While I find myself curious, I don’t think I could ever imagine such a thing.

You were ALWAYS there with me

And so I, a form of light who was fittingly named, and the Nuit Noir that had grown in my mind to represent you, lived in the lights for a time…