Medical stuff today (cw- eating talk)

Today we went to a doctor’s appointment to check my blood sugar/pressure. We’ve been having some problems with both, mostly I’m concerned I’ll lose consciousness as it’s felt like I could a few times; I mostly wanted to check if I’m prediabetic due to blood sugar drops.

Basically they said I’m probably not eating enough, which has pretty much been an issue my whole life. Maybe it’s the autism. We struggle very hard to get the right amount of food, period, calories aside. Honestly to god if we ate 100% healthy foods we would never get enough calories, we would literally be eating all day and that’s almost worse. It doesn’t help that I don’t generally eat the foods they say help sensitive stomachs (bread, rice, etc). I feel kind of guilty having this problem especially because so many people have the opposite problem and they deal with so much as a result of it. But that’s their struggle, not mine, so I should stop comparing myself to them. 

Anyway, they said my blood pressure was kind of normal when we checked but what I described to them is probably accurate, just it wasn’t showing itself in that very moment. Probably the stress. If I was chill, I think it would’ve happened. They did some lab work for my blood and referred me to GI to see what they can do for my bad stomach.

It went fine. Honestly if I DONT have diabetes I’ll be very happy bc the last thing we fucking need right now is something else to fucking stress over. Kind of a waste of money technically, but I’ve been really needing to go and get things checked. 

We’ve been kind of bickering internally recently. It could be because our birthday is in 2 weeks, I personally love birthdays but I know not everyone does and it’s just a stressful time of year.

Also, god I’m typing so much, I am certain there’s someone else in the system that I haven’t met or really visualized yet. I feel an unfamiliar presence. But unfortunately we don’t communicate super effectively , and only in short bursts. So we’ll see where that goes.