dissociative.cafe
dissociative.cafe

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saoirse.t-e-c

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Short Term Disability Anxiety

These days I’m really only functional for a couple hours a day. I’ve been forced to take a leave of absence from work, and I’m waiting to learn if my short term disability is approved, or if they’ll reject my paperwork and my leave. Nail biter! (Actually, we aren’t nail biters, we’re hair pullers, but yeah, same idea.)

While I’ve been on STD multiple times over the years for mental issues (imagine that!), this is the first time I’ve tried to take a leave based on my physical health issues. It probably would have been EASIER to claim I was just crazy – I know the drill, my psychiatrist knows the paperwork, etc. But the thing is, this time around, I really do feel like its my physical health that is dragging me through the mud. And yeah, mental isn’t doing just extremely great because of that, but I don’t think its the actual culprit this time.

I’m really scared that I will either a) lose my job and/or b) not be able to return to work for a long time. Either is kind of dire for the financial situation. I do have some savings, and even more credit, so it’s not like I’m going to be immediately screwed…. but still, it’s been time to start cutting back a bit.

Part of that cutting back has been on this site. My one accomplishment for the day was to move the site to a cheaper host. Hopefully that doesn’t affect the site too badly. Let me know if it does.

Anyway, it didn’t help my anxiety to get a text from my STD administrator saying they were reaching out to my doctor for more information. Which should be fine, but my doctor actually practices in a different city, and only travels to the small town I live in once every week or two. My local healthcare puts the SLO in SLOW. I’m worried that my doctor won’t get back to the leave people in time.

And I’m literally falling asleep at the computer while writing this, which is the reason WHY I’m not working right now.

…and yeah, I fell asleep for two hours at the computer. 😛 This sucks.

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