Did the title get your attention? While we understand that people want exciting content, we refuse to make a spectacle of our disorder to get views. “35,000 switches caught on camera” would probably rank us higher on Google, but it isn’t the kind of attention we want. So yeah, the front page of the site is kind of boring. But, news flash, so is dissociative identity disorder, at least compared to what some people expect. The vast majority of systems are covert, regardless of what gets attention on YouTube and TikTok.
That’s not to say that every overt system on social media is fake. They do exist. Some of them even produce great content. And we’re not qualified to say which systems are real and which aren’t. It’s just frustrating to look for representation that matches your experience and not find it.
For us, DID isn’t loud, exciting, and fun. It’s quiet, isolating, and frustrating. It’s not just about the alters. It’s about wearing an Apple Watch that can find your phone, so you can use your phone to find your air-tagged keys and wallet. Our amnesia isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be, but it’s still something that affects almost every aspect of our lives. We’re just really good at hiding it and working around it.
When DID isn’t quiet, it’s often frightening. Night terrors and flashbacks are a real part of the disorder. It’s about having alters who are afraid to sleep or use the bathroom. It’s about sleeping with the lights on as an adult. It’s about being triggered by random things without warning on an otherwise perfect day.
System politics are a real thing. Living as a successful system often requires compromise, and sometimes no one in the system is really happy with the result. DID is about waiting and waiting for a chance to come forward, and then having to give up that time when it finally happens because the body needs sleep. It’s about having dreams and goals that never come true. Not everyone gets the career they want, or gets to live where they want, or gets the life they want. Yes, that’s true for everyone, but it’s even more of an issue when you’re not the one in control of your body most of the time.
Trust us, YOU DO NOT WANT DID.
We have mixed opinions about those who want to live as “plurals” but do not have DID or OSDD. Our only request is that plurals be open and honest about who they are. We’re not going to debate plurality, and we’re not here to tell you you’re right or wrong. But please do not use DID resources if you do not have a dissociative disorder, and do not claim to have something you do not have. DID is not exciting, it’s not a cool fad, it’s a real and often debilitating disability.
And that came off as more of a rant than intended. No, this site isn’t flashy. But neither are we – we’re almost 50, overweight, and definitely not charismatic on camera. We’re just frustrated with how much crap is out there about our disorder, both in the mainstream and on social media. We’re frustrated that DID is big business and that some sites are trying to make money off other people’s suffering. Most of all, we’re tired of being misrepresented.
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This isn’t to say we’re a perfect representation of DID either…. its a rainbow of diversity. It’s just frustrating to always see the same one or two colors displayed.
ok, this was a lot more of a rant than it should have been. we also need to clarify we don’t have a problem with dissociative creators having patreon pages – that isn’t “big business”. we’re actually debating taking this post down, as we think it could stir up shit it wasn’t meant to stir. on the other hand, there is something to be said for taking responsibility for what you write and not just sweeping it under the rug. if you think we’re ever way off base, feel free to say so. we’re not perfect, and welcome constructive criticism and discussion.